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Open Question: How should I handle best friend issues?

Ok here it goes. I have a best friend of over 10 years. She and I are so close its not even funny. After a few short years I noticed I started to fall in love with her but never said anything. After 4 years she got married, I was her Man of Honor, and I stepped aside as far as spoiling her. (ex. buying her laptops,cameras, jewelry, dinners, etc) I did these things because I cared for her and had no one of my own to spoil. Once she was married I stopped spoiling her so I don't offend her husband whom I became friends with. After the first two years I put the idea of me and her out of my mind. Then he started cheating on her. She relied on me more than ever. She stayed with him because of her child but I think at this point he saw me as a threat. I was being called over for visits while he is there and there was def tension. Then he gets stationed over seas, and starts calling me on my phone just to chit chat... which he's never done before. Currently he's overseas for the 4th time and instead of missing her husband she's enjoying it as a break from him. As of right now she calls me over to visit everyday, we don't do anything but I know that is prob pissing him off. I don't know if my best friend knows how I feel about her and I don't plan on telling her. Leaving her is not an option and her girl friends tell me not to leave but don't know if she feels anything for me either. My best friend is good at keeping secrets and thoughts to herself. I would do anything in this world for her but I don't know how to handle all these tensions being in the mix.